I have much to do this weekend. I admit, I have been somewhat frustrated lately.
But, I want to be spiritually fed. I want to feel my Savior’s love and my God’s love for me. I want my heart to be/stay “soft.” So, as an act of faith, I turned on General Conference at the appropriate time for the first session today.
First Session Report
It was a bit of a roller-coaster ride. Some regular stuff, some good stuff that kind of spoke to me, and some extreme frustration such that I was ready to turn it off–had my hand on the remote. But, I decided to keep it on, do a little genealogy in the background because I figured I could still hear the words and process them (as opposed to my attentiveness if I was doing something that involved reading or writing complete sentences), it was an activity conducive to the Spirit, and it would keep me from throwing things . . .
Everyone loves President Uchtdorf—so much so that I feel like it diminishes my own assessment a little. But, every word he said felt like he was paying attention to our concerns, he knew us, he understood, and that he acknowledged that our concerns and questions are worthwhile, that we are valuable to the church. I felt validated in asking questions. I felt validated when he said something to the effect that we would be surprised to learn that they (the church leadership) are more like us than we know, that they ask the same questions.
It is so interesting that his was the last talk of the session. That fact was a type, I think. Patience and steadfastness, as hard and frustrating as that may be sometimes, are rewarded. Had I turned off the TV, had I clicked the red power button, I would have lost the opportunity to hear his message, I would have turned off the power available to me today.
Am I still waiting? Yes, but at least I am still here waiting.
“Stay yet a little longer.”
Second Session Report
The most honest talk I have heard in a long time regarding what real people face here and now was from Elder Jeffrey R. Holland speaking about mental illness, addressing particularly major depression. He spoke to all of us, to those who suffer, and to those who love them. A couple of the quotes I jotted down:
Regarding watching for warning signs and scaling back when we need to: “Fatigue is the common enemy of us all.”
Regarding seeking both spiritual nourishment and care and professional help: “Our Heavenly Father expects us to use all the marvelous gifts he has blessed us with in this dispensation.”
Regarding all of us: “While the Lord is making those repairs [on emotional and mental health], the rest of us can help by being merciful, nonjudgmental, and kind.”
He also spotlighted “Mommy Blogger” Stephanie Nielson. Who knew a blogger would make the General Conference references?